"Thank You": It's Like a Life Saver, but Not a Junior Mint

Seacrest, out.  Way out.

Get out your pencil and paper and let’s start out this post with a little quiz.  Stop groaning and whining or you’ll stay after school to clap erasers.  (OK…if you remember what “clap erasers” was, then raise your hand.  Judging from the response, I’ll need to increase the font size of my next post.  Perhaps I can sell ad space to Ensure).  Here is the quiz.  It is only one multiple choice question, so it is pass or fail.

What is the most important two-word phrase in the English language?

A. Party on.

B. I’m pregnant.

C. Seacrest, out.

D. Thank you.

I suppose a case could be made for any of the four (no fair writing in “E. All of the above”).  However, the correct response for most important two-word phrase in the English language is “D. Thank you.”  We could also say the German language (“Danke schoen”) but if I used that phrase then I’d have to pay royalties to Wayne Newton and I’m pretty sure he has mob ties.  Or we could say the Japanese Language (“Domo Arigato”) but that reminds me of the Styx song, ”Mr. Roboto” and I hate that song. 

Saying “thank you” is a fundamental part of our interactions in society.  When we stop saying “thank you” we are no better than cavemen, the Mongul hordes (which we learned from Bill and Ted were led by Ghengis Khan) or New Yorkers.  “Thank you” is also an essential part of your marriage vocabulary.  We’ll look at the importance of “thank you” in your daily life and in your quest to Keep a Happy Wife.

Please, Hammer, don't hurt 'em.

There are three categories of Thank You.  The lowest level of Thank You is the “Off Hand Thanks”.  It’s reserved for the clerk who hands you change or when your wife hands you a hammer while you repair a shelf.  In my case, it’s more when The Wife hands me a paper towel after I’ve spilled my Diet Mountain Dew.  I only use a hammer to open stubborn pistachio shells (that’s right, she’s a lucky Wife).  At any rate the “Off Hand Thanks” is an instinctive politeness.  Which is not a bad thing; it just doesn’t inspire much meaning or require much thought.

The mid-level of Thank You's is what I call the “Life Saver Thank You”.  That is the "Thank You" that, like the Life Saver is always appropriate, well…almost always.  There are very few times when a Life Saver (butter rum is my favorite) is inappropriate (unlike a Junior Mint).  You can have a Life Saver in church, at a funeral, during a business meeting…almost anytime.  You wouldn’t want one while you are in a dentist’s chair or singing an aria, but you get my point.  It is the kind of "Thank You" you give when someone gives you a wedding gift or cooks you dinner or congratulates you on successfully completing a complex high dive routine (never had that one).  When you give someone a Level Two “thank you”, they’ll know exactly why.  The key difference between the “Off Hand” and the “Life Saver” is the level of engagement between the “thanker” and “thankee”.  There is a higher degree of thought and purpose involved.

There is an old and hilarious Monty Python skit (aren’t they all “old” now and aren’t most of them hilarious still?) where one of the characters says in the dialogue “I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition”.  Suddenly, three men in red robes (the Spanish Inquisitors) burst in the room and exclaim “Nooooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!” This brings us to the Third Level of Thankfulness: The “Left Field Thank You”.  It’s called that because, just as nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, nobody expects this type of Thank You, either (because it came “out of left field”).  It is the “Thank You” you give or receive when there is no obvious reason at the moment as to why.  Nobody gave you change or handed you a hammer or gave you a roll of butter rum Life Savers, but you just told them “thank you”.  You’ve considered the character and the actions of someone important to you (friend, co-worker or spouse) and out of the blue (or out of left field) you thought to thank them.  At a moment when someone you care about wasn’t consciously thinking about anyone caring for them, you can touch their heart.

Do you see the power of those two little words?  Words that, oftentimes, are left behind like a coin at the “take a penny / leave a penny” tray.  However, when you apply pre-meditation and purpose to those words and add a bit of surprise (the chief weapon of the Spanish Inquisition) you can impact a relationship.  Try it today and see.  It can change perspectives.  It can create breakthroughs.  It can get you some sweet lovin’, too (Way to ruin the moment, huh?).

Keep A Happy Wife Guy…Out!

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