Keeping A Happy Wife During a Worldwide Pandemic

Welcome to the strangest of days.  We are all plowing new ground together here and I would highly recommend you not try to go this on your own.  Despite the fact that adherence to social distancing may try to send us on a fast track to isolation, we need to remind ourselves we are NOT alone.  And as men, our calling to "keep a happy wife" doesn't take a backseat in these tough times.  If anything, the call should be stronger and we should be more vigilant in meeting it.  With that in mind, here are a few tips on keeping a happy wife even during a worldwide pandemic (plus a bonus sermonette at the end).

Tip #1: Don't Watch So Much Sports: See...I'm starting with an easy one.  How many times has your wife asked you "are you still watching basketball (or football or baseball or...)?".  Our government has removed that from you as an option as to how you spend your time.  That is, unless, you are glued to ESPN watching March Madness marathons from 1983.  If that is you...be better.

Tip #2: Don't Watch So Much News: About five minutes in the morning, five minutes in the afternoon and five minutes at night will get you EVERYTHING you really need to know.  Everything else is simply adding layer and layer of bricks to a wall of fear or anger or disgust.  The same goes for social media, too.  If you can't filter out the barrage of bullsh*t, then delete the app from you phone.  You aren't helping yourself or your wife. 

Tip #3: Stay Connected to Each Other: You may say "But, Kevin, we are in a house-quarantine together.  How much more connected can you get?". Well, if you are spending the hours of your day trying to work from home while homeschooling...that's not necessarily connected.  Or, if you are both staring at your phones seeing what your favorite pseudo-celebrity's opinion of the day is on a medical crisis or an economic upheaval...that's not connected, either.  Talk to each other.  It's certainly good to talk about these events of the day and share your thoughts, but the connection shouldn't center on virus talk.  Talk about good times you've shared - perhaps times you've overcome challenges together.  Tell her you love her!  I also think your wife is an exemption to the social distancing mandate (if you know what I mean). 

My son and grandson on the bottom right. 

Tip #4: Stay Connected to Others: The Wife and I lead a Life Group together through our church.  The last two weeks we have met "virtually" through Skype.  While it is not the "normal", it is some injection of normal into our lives and the lives of those in our group.  I've also met with several groups of friends over Skype in the last week or so.  It is a tool designed for such a time as this.

Tip #5: Be in Peace: Gentlemen, we are all in some level of stress. That is a universal truth that is not unique to these days of COVID-19 .  We each deal with stresses under much more ideal circumstances than this. THIS only adds a good bit more juice to it.  During THIS (just as we did pre-THIS) we need to be intentional about remaining in peace.  Regular bouts of freaking out and losing our minds is not a way to live and not a way to honor our wives in any season...even when dealing with THIS. Our families all have decisions to make during THIS and doing so out of fear will lead to frustration and dismay.  So, how do we remain in peace?

Two Takeaways From Matthew 14

I've been coming back to two separate passages in Matthew 14.  One I started meditating on a few months ago and the other came to mind just today.  I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I didn't realize they were both in Matthew 14 until I started to write this.  So, much for street cred as a Bible scholar.

While I was too dense to see the connection of these passages at first, the connection is there nonetheless.  Both will be familiar stories to even the most infrequent of Sunday School attendee.

The first I'll touch on is the story of Peter walking on the water (Matthew 14: 23-32).  The disciples of Jesus went out on a boat and encountered a terrible storm.  Along comes Jesus walking on the water right on past the boat.  Peter calls to Jesus and says "If it's really you, Jesus, tell me to come out to you".  Jesus replies "Bring it, bro!" (or something like that).  Peter steps out of the boat and is walking on the water towards Jesus.  After a few moments, he takes his eyes off Jesus and turns his focus to the wind and the waves.  His thoughts that moments ago compelled him to step out of the boat (thoughts of bravery and security because of Jesus) were replaced with fear of the things his focus had turned to and he began to sink.  ("Peter saw the wind and was afraid and began to sink").

Peter cried out "Lord, save me!".  Despite losing his focus, Peter still knew Jesus was his savior and was more powerful than the thing that he feared. 

To stay in peace...keep your eyes on Jesus. You control your thoughts (2 Corinthians 10:5).  Whether you think you do or not...you do.  Philippians 4:8 tells us what kind of things we should think on.  If we didn't have a say in the matter, God wouldn't tell us we did.  We can choose to dwell on the virus (Do I have it?  Does my kid have it?  Does my wife?)  or we can gain the information we need, turn off the rest of it and focus on what God has to say about who we are (and who our wife and kids are, too). 

Immediately before this passage in Matthew, is the feeding of the 5,000 (Matthew 14:13-21).  Jesus asks his disciples to gather up food from the crowd so that all the people can be fed.  After what must have been a great deal of time, the disciples bring back five loaves and two fish.  Barely enough for a special at Long John Silver's. 

When presented with this completely inadequate supply of food, Jesus "looked up to Heaven, gave thanks and broke the loaves".  Jesus' response wasn't to criticize the disciples or the people.  Jesus didn't freak out and post a photo on Instagram on how little food there was.  He didn't even grab the loaves and fish and hoard them for himself. 

No, in a moment of perceived lack, he turned his vision towards Heaven and He gave thanks.  The result was provision and abundance...not just for himself, but for everyone present. 

In the middle of THIS, many people are panicking.  A mentality of lack and fear are driving people to hoard bread and meat and (for some reason) toilet paper.  In the middle of THIS, people are in a real time of need.  There is the reality of possibly permanently losing a job or a business. 

When confronted with fear...look to Jesus despite the waves and wind demanding your attention. 

When tempted towards lack...look up to Heaven and give thanks.  God will provide.

As I said before, we are all in some level of stress.  Now, (dealing with THIS) more than ever.  How do you choose to respond to that stress is the defining question.  Since we are all experiencing some level of stress (a unique, once-in-a-millennium kind of stress) stay connected to your brother.  The most stable dude you know may be freaking out a bit right now.  Be an encouragement to all of those around you.  And not just a vocal encouragement, but put your faith into action.  You may be the one Jesus is asking to pull a brother from the raging waves.  You may be the one Jesus will use to help feed and comfort another. 

In all of THIS, make good choices about what you look to and what your focus is on.  We will overcome THIS.  And I pray you emerge on the other side stronger in your heart, in your faith and in your relationships than you've ever been.  Love and blessings to you and yours.