Down-Right Amazing

When it’s been a really (really, really) long time since writing a blog post, you want it to be about something special.  Not just special, but down-right amazing.  So, today I’m writing about the World Cup.  Did we win?  Or tie? Or not lose so badly? Come to think of it…that’s not really up to the standard of “down-right amazing”.  

What I will write about is The Wife.  Today is her REDACTEDth birthday and she is down-right amazing.  I couldn’t imagine that anyone could love me the way that she does.  There’s no feeling quite like knowing…and not just “knowing”, but “KNOWING-KNOWING”…that the person you love loves you, too, and regardless of happenstance or chance or circumstance that love does not waver.  Plus…she laughs at my jokes.

As a mom, The Wife will stack up with the best of all time.  Cleaver, Huxtable, Brady, Bundy...none have anything on her.  She has molded two outstanding young men through her love, support and prayers.  She’s willing to sacrifice everything for them, but she’s also willing to hold them accountable (even as 20 and 15 year olds).  For boys that age to seek out her advice and her time and her hugs speaks to the strength of the relationships that she still has with them.

The Wife is talented and kind and generous and loyal and considerate to all who know her.  She is a down-right amazing lady.  So much so, in fact, fireworks will be shot in her honor all weekend long.

Happy birthday, dear.  I love you.

The 2014 Wifey Awards

Yes, just in time for The Oscars, it’s the 4^th Annual Wifey Awards.  These are my categories based on movies (or films, if you want to be pretentious) that I’ve seen.  If I didn’t see it, I didn’t include it.  Most of these I’ve seen with The Wife by my side, sharing my popcorn and, bite by bite, dropping it on the floor.  There are lots of links to clips, trailers and photos here, so you can explore the movies if you choose.  Also, here are links to 2013, 2012 and  2011 Wifey Awards.

Category: Best looking actress

• Jennifer Aniston, We’re the Millers: Aniston has been nominated in this category every year, which is a tribute to her body of work (pun most definitely intended).
• Paula Patton, 2 Guns: Finally dumping that doofus Robin Thicke clinched her nomination here.
• Amy Adams, American Hustle: Her necklines plunged like Jimmy Carter’s approval rating.
• And The Wifey goes to…The Wife.  She edges out poor Jen again.  We’re approaching “Susan Lucci” territory with the annual snubs of Aniston.  Better luck next year.

Category: Best movie scene

• Captain Phillips, closing scene: A very subdued performance throughout and then draws every bit of emotion out of himself and the audience in the last 2 minutes.
• American Hustle, science oven: Rosalyn (Jennifer Lawrence) saying “thank God for me” is pretty classic. Note: clip includes "adult language".
• Gravity, opening sequence: Sure it’s all special effects, but Alfonso Cuaron gave an incredible perspective on the intense vastness of space.
• And The Wifey goes to…Captain Phillips.  This is why Tom Hanks is a national treasure.  He’s come a long way since Bosom Buddies!

Category: Best Hair

• Jeremy Renner, American Hustle: It would take dozens of woodland creatures to create a pelt like Renner has on the top of his head.
• Christian Bale, American Hustle: Batman has really let himself go.
• Elizabeth Banks, Hunger Games: Catching Fire: The odds are in favor of that being a labradoodle on her head.
• And The Wifey goes to…Bale.  Anything that was so painstakingly put together deserves an award.  When I first saw the trailer for American Hustle I had no idea that was Christian Bale.

Category: Best Sequel or Remake 

• A Good Day to Die Hard: A bad Die Hard movie is better than no Die Hard movie. This was at least average.
• Star Trek Into Darkness: I love the new Star Trek.  J.J. Abrams honors the old story lines while adding his own fresh twist.  It is how re-makes should be done.
• Hunger Games: Catching Fire: The development of the overall story could have been done in about 15 minutes.  It was a good movie, but what was the point in the plot line?
• And The Wifey goes to…Star Trek.  Sherlock is Khan?  That’s tough to beat.

Category: Best Movie You May Not Have Seen

• The Way, Way Back: Steve Carell and Sam Rockwell lead a cast-full of strong performances in this
  coming-of-age comedy.  A “feel good” film if you need it.
• Prisoners: Not a “feel good” movie at all.  This is a moody thriller that explores what lengths we would go to in order to protect our children and seek justice.  Great acting performances (Hugh Jackman and Jake Gylenhall) and expertly directed, too. 
  
• Rush: Ron Howard explores the clash of personalities, philosophies and egos in this true story of rival race car drivers.
• And The Wifey goes to...The Way, Way Back.  I had a tough time deciding between this one and Prisoners.  In case of a tie, The Wifey goes to the movie The Wife liked the best. 

Category: Movie of the Year

• Captain Phillips: Perhaps Hanks’ best performance since Cast Away. He deserved an Oscar
  
  nomination.  Paul Greengrass does a great job directing the audience throughout this intense story.
• American Hustle: It would be tough to assemble a better cast.  It’s become hipster to hate this movie, but it is one of the best movies of the year that I saw.  
• Lone Survivor: A very raw and gripping portrayal of this true story of a Navy SEAL team mission gone wrong in Afghanistan.  It is tough to watch at times, but it is important to watch anyway.
• And The Wifey goes to…Lone Survivor.  You will remember what you saw, heard and felt from this movie for years to come.  It is a fitting tribute to the men and women who serve to defend us.  It is tough to top that.

Harold Ramis Lifetime Achievement Award

This week one of my favorite movie writers/directors passed away.  If you laughed in a movie over the last

35 years, it is likely Harold Ramis (first on right) had something to do with it.  Ramis brought us movies like Animal House, Stripes, Ghostbusters, Groundhog Day and Vacation.   And I honestly don’t know that I can communicate with another human being without Caddyshack as part of my lexicon.  So, I’ve got that going for me…which is nice.  While he was sometimes an actor (Ghostbusters and Stripes) Ramis did more as a writer and director.  He did what I wish I could: make people laugh without necessarily needing the spot light to do it.  Do yourself a favor this week and watch (or more likely re-watch) a Harold Ramis movie.

Advice and Good Advice for Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is this Friday.  If your response to that sentence is "Oh *expletive*!" then this blog post may be just what you needed.  Here is some advice and some good advice for you to "Keep a HappyWife" on Valentine's Day.

Advice: Don’t buy your wife and girlfriend the same gift.

Good advice: If you have a wife…don’t have a girlfriend.

Advice: Tell your wife she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve seen today.

Good advice: Adding “and that includes the chicks I’ve been scoping on FarmersOnly.com” does not make that a better compliment.

Advice: Dinner and movie can be a nice Valentine’s evening.

Good advice: Dinner should not be a McRib.  Movie should not star a Schwarzenegger, a Stallone or a Van Damme.

Advice: Writing your wife a poem is a sweet and sentimental Valentine’s gesture.

Good advice: The poem should not start with the line “There once was a man from Nantucket”.

Advice: While not very creative, a heart box of candy chocolates is a delicious gift.

Good advice: You should not pick out the chocolates filled with caramel leaving only the ones filled with Texas Pete or silly putty.

Advice: A good line is “You’re pretty as a picture”.

Good advice: Don’t add “I mean almost  any picture.  Even prettier than those cartoon babes, except for maybe Jessica Rabbit”.

Advice: Tell your wife “I love you”.

Good advice: If she asks you “why?” be prepared with an answer other than just “you let me see you naked”.

As a reference, here are links to prior Valentine's Day posts:

Adventures in Lingerie Shopping

Kicking Butt on Valentine's Day (A Case Study)

Valentine's Special: Let Me Be Your Rufus