Welcome to the Third Annual Wifey Awards. These awards are given to movies I saw with The Wife this year. You can find the first and second versions of The Wifey's by following the links. New this year are movie clips from each category, plus a list of websites and links every movie buff should use. So as you stroll down the red carpet tonight, tell Ryan Seacrest who you are wearing (I’m wearing Russell Athletic, Ryan). It's time to enjoy the awards…without the incoherent acceptance speeches.
Category: Give It a Rest
- Marvel/Avenger Series: Since the first Iron Man, we’ve seen more movies in this Avenger series than Robert Downey, Jr. has visits to rehab.
- Twilight: Can we get Abe Lincoln to rid us of this vampire menace?
- Liam Neeson: With all the movies this guy has made lately, how are we all not already dead by his hand? He was even on ESPN...as you'll see in the first minute of this clip it didn't go well.
- John Goodman: The only thing he hasn’t been in is The Big Bang Theory. However, the rest of the Rosanne cast has made up for this missing piece to his filmography.
- And The Wifey goes to…Twilight. The last year we were not subjected to a Twilight movie was 2007. That’s before Obama was President. See what all this “hope and change” has brought us?
Category: Best Movie You Probably Didn’t See
- Bernie: A quirky movie with Jack Black in his best acting performance ever…really his only acting performance ever.
- Seeking a Friend for the End of the World: A quirky movie with Steve Carrel about what happens in his life when an asteroid is headed towards earth. It’s like the story is torn from last week’s headlines. (Clip).
- Moonrise Kingdom: A quirky movie. A very, very quirky movie. So quirky, I’m not really sure what it’s about.
- And The Wifey goes to…Seeking a Friend. While The Office launched Carrel’s career (that’s fun to say: “Carrel’s career”) it causes him to be underrated as an actor. While this isn’t his best role, it is still a movie worth seeing.
Category: Best Portrayal of a Dysfunctional Personality
- Denzel Washington as Whip Whitaker (Flight) - addicted to addictions. He hit the trifecta: drugs, booze and women. Denzel showed again in this role why he’s one of the best actors of this generation.
- Bradley Cooper as Pat Solitano (Silver Linings Playbook) - bipolar. Bipolar is more than just dysfunction for sure. Cooper did a tremendous job portraying the battles with mental illness of Solitano. It's hard to believe he started out as the nerdy friend in Alias.
- Mark Ruffalo as The Hulk (Marvel’s The Avengers) - gamma ray disorder. He turns green, has a nasty temper and has more wardrobe malfunctions than Janet Jackson.
- And The Wifey Goes to…The Hulk. You want to tell him he didn’t win?
Category: Best Movie Scene
- Flight - The hotel refrigerator scene. If you didn’t see the movie this won’t make sense, but if you did you won’t forget it. Expertly acted and directed scene.
- Argo – Airport escape. Extremely tense climax scene as “The Six” tries to get on a flight home. You think getting through airport security is tough here, try getting past the Iranians.
- Silver Linings Playbook – Dance contest. The dancing was not very good, but it was just good enough. Plus Jennifer Lawrence looked amazing. Now I see why my 14-year old son is always saying “Jennifer Lawrence is hot”. (Click here for clip of the scene).
- And The Wifey Goest to…Silver Linings Playbook. I really couldn’t decide so I used “eenie-meenie-minie-mo”.
Category: Best Bad Guy
- Bane – Dark Knight Rises: A much better foe to Batman than The Riddler or Mr. Freeze. (clip)
- Osama bin Laden – Zero Dark Thirty: He finally meets his end at the hands of the Navy Seals.
- Woody Allen – To Rome With Love: He’s not a bad guy, but he deserves a “villain” label for making this stinker of a movie.
- And The Wifey Goes to…Bane. I’m not giving an award for anything to bin Laden and the total flop of To Rome at the box office was punishment enough for Woody.
Category: Best Movie
- Dark Knight Rises: Probably the best super hero movie of all time. The story, direction and acting in DKR were all nearly perfect.
- Argo: The story was fascinating and it was told well by Ben Affleck. A great ensemble cast and a soundtrack full of great music from the late 70s sure didn’t hurt. (Clip)
- Flight: One of the things that confirms how well done this movie was is how difficult parts of it were to watch. The struggle of addiction as portrayed in Flight was quite powerful.
- And The Wifey Goes to…Argo. It is a unique, but true, story that, while very intense, was still entertaining from beginning to end. Affleck’s come a long way since Gigli or Daredevil.
The Wife and I will continue to be on the lookout for the best movies of 2013. I’m looking for something co-starring Liam Neeson and John Goodman. Hopefully it won’t involve a vampire or be directed by Woody Allen.
Some helpful movie websites and apps:
- IMDB - Info on every movie and TV show as well as filmography of actors, directors, etc.
- Fandango – Need to know what is playing where and when…use this site.
- Common Sense Media – Family reviews of movies that gives details on violent, sexual and language content.
- Run Pee – an app that tells you the best time to take a bathroom break during the movie
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