Half A Lifetime

I think it was Abraham Lincoln who said “Statistics are like a bikini.  What they reveal is suggestive.  What they conceal is vital.”  That’s not really relevant, but I liked the quote.  Any time you can mis-attribute a quote to Lincoln and mention “bikini” in the same sentence…well that is a great way to start a blog post. 

Statistics is not the subject today, but I have some interesting stats about the way we spend our time in life. 

• The average person lives 77 years.  28,000 days.  670,000 hours.  40,000,000 minutes.
• A total of 23 years of that time, we are asleep.  If that’s the case, all need to have better dreams.
• 12 years are spent working.
• 3 years are spent eating.
• 6 months are spent on the toilet, though your mileage may vary.
• 10 years are spent talking – women maybe more, men maybe less.
• 3 years are spent waiting on something – women maybe less, men maybe more (waiting on women).
• 1 year, on average, is spent praying.
• 2 years are spent on the phone.

I’m a man.  I’m forty…four.  Twenty-two years ago today The Wife and I were married.  Half of my life I have been married.  What have any of us done for half of our lives?  Besides the things you learned before you were five (feed yourself, go boom-boom in the potty, read, etc.) what have you done for half of your life? 

I do not remember not being married.  I don’t mean that I have no memories before November 18, 1989.  I mean I don’t remember what it is like to not be married.  And that’s a good thing.

I remember what it was like not having cell phones and personal computers - we used a home phone, we had conversations with people, wrote letters to friends and used an encyclopedia (Who was the last encyclopedia salesman you knew?  Fonzie?).

I remember when the local paper was the primary source of news – we’ve now gone from under-informed to information overload. 

I remember when every other movie wasn’t a sequel, a remake or gimmicked into being 3D – yes, you had to have an idea to make a movie.

I remember when TV commercials didn’t show models in their underwear – I won’t comment further on grounds of self-incrimination.

I do not remember not being married, though.  And that’s a good thing (at least I think it’s still a good thing.  The Wife gets the underwear model thing is a joke, right?)

Our first meal together as a married couple, The Wife and I ate a Wendy’s in Chattanooga as we were driving to Disney World for our honeymoon.  Tonight we’ll celebrate our anniversary in a dining room at Churchill Downs.

Since being married, we have lived at 8 different addresses and 5 different cities.  We have actually lived in Louisville longer than any other place. 

We have two kids and I don’t remember not having them around either.  That, too, is a good thing.  The Tall One showed up nearly 18 years ago and The Short One a little more than 13 years ago.  Forty percent of my life as a parent?  Seems longer.

Wherever we have lived and whatever challenges we have faced and changes we’ve ridden through…I have been blessed.  Abraham Lincoln once said: “Happy wife…happy life”.  If that is a true saying, then The Wife must be one ecstatic woman. Happy anniversary, honey.