Loni Anderson Is Not My Hero

“You’re my hero”…that’s what she wrote. 

I’ve told you before how The Wife and I use our bathroom wall to post graffiti.  Bible verses, quotes, propositions, love notes, etc. are the typical subject matter.  But, “you’re my hero”? I had two immediate thoughts: First, I don’t leap tall buildings in a single bound.  I don’t even leap at all anymore.  Second, she’s once again confused me with Thor (I get that from a lot of people.  Easy mistake).

So, how do we choose our heroes?  When we are young, we typically choose quite poorly and equate fame to heroism. If you google disgraced athletes (and “googling” may be what got some of them in trouble in the first place) you get an insanely long trail of fallen heroes.  Let’s see: Clemens, Sosa, McGwire, Tiger, Rodriguez, Hernandez, Armstrong and OJ, just to name some of the most successful men to play their respective sports only to have their reputation decimated by their own hand.  Perfect shouldn’t have to be the standard for any hero, but you have to draw the line somewhere, like maybe cheating at a criminal level, rampant infidelity, fraud, perjury and homicide.

Personally, growing up I had two posters on my wall: Pete Rose and Loni Anderson.  Pete Rose was a hero because I loved how he played the game.  If the team needed him to play second, left, right, third or first he did it and he did it well.  He approached every play like his bowl-cut hair was on fire.  Oh yeah, he could hit a little bit, too.  How did that “hero” turn out though?  “Not too good” would be a safe bet.

Loni Anderson wasn’t what I’d call a “hero”, but she had to be brave to work with that Herb Tarlek guy (and pretty brave to wear that white bikini…am I right?). Of course once I found out she was married to Burt Reynolds…well she might as well have bet on baseball.  What a disappointment.  Burt and Loni: the less talented Brad and Angelina of the early 1980s.

With a lot more age and, hopefully, a little more wisdom I think I have a little better perspective on who my real heroes are.  I can start with The Dad.  When I was a kid, my dad worked crazy hours, often worked two jobs and when he went back to night class to earn his college degree he was probably a dozen years older than the others in his graduating class.  (If I had half the work ethic that he does, I would have finished this blog post hours ago).  Now that I'm an adult, I see how much he cares for my mom and that there isn't a man in the world more reliable and dependable than my dad (no, my father is not a Volvo). 

The Father-in-law is another “hero”.  First, he let me marry The Wife.  That was act of bravery like he was in a Die Hard movie.  I’ve also seen over the years how he’s modeled trusting God in difficult situations (hopefully, my being married to his daughter isn’t one of those “difficult situations”).  He is also a great example of helping people feel loved and appreciated.  He is generous and kind-hearted and often goes out of his way to serve others.

I know neither The Dad nor The Father-in-Law would refer to themselves as a hero.  I would say most people don’t consider themselves to be heroes.  (If they do, they probably ARE NOT heroes, but they definitely ARE insufferable a$$-hats).  I certainly don’t feel like a hero because I know how flawed I am and I hear every un-heroic (or is it “non-heroic”) thought that passes through my brain.  Hopefully, I’m somewhere between “insufferable a$$-hat” and “hero” and by the grace of God trending towards the latter and not the former (Did I use that expression right?.  If I didn't, I meant to say I'm not becoming more of an a$$-hat. Either way, I'm gonna get in trouble with The Wife for using the phrase "a$$-hat" so much.  Even though I used a $ instead of an S, so it really isn't a bad word).

It does make me feel a little more like a hero, however, to have a wife who calls me one.  A Wife who, as Melvin Udall said in "As Good As It Gets", "makes me want to be a better man". Maybe The Wife is the true hero in this marriage and not me (and definitely not Loni Anderson).

Two random pop culture references I wanted to work into this post but couldn't make them fit: The song "My Hero" by The Foo Fighters is awesome and supports my point on the topic.  The TV show "Heroes" was outstanding in its first season.  The rest of them stunk.