I didn’t cry the entire way home, and I suppose that’s something. Today, The Wife and I moved our oldest son into his dorm at college. ($#!+, I’m getting old). For full disclosure, he is only 30 minutes from home and about 5 minutes from where I work. So, it isn’t as if he’s across the country or, Heaven forbid, Cleveland. Whether around the world or around the block (everywhere I go, the Kids Wanna Rock – Bryan Adams, if you want him) or wherever he may be, he’s still not home….pause, while I locate a Kleenex….
I suppose the emotion of the day (which started about a month before his high school graduation) comes from three things.
First, I could not be more proud of both of our boys. They love their Lord. They are considerate and kind. They know how to laugh. They are smart. They know how to face and overcome adversity. All these things qualify The Tall One for success as he enters “The College Years”.
Second, I’m just going to miss him. As a parent, you have to love your kids. If you don’t answer “yes” on the application to the “Do you love your child?” question, then they don’t give you a kid, right? So, loving your offspring is a relative (no pun intended) given. Liking them, however, is not required. I’ve met lots of people’s kids and I don’t know how their parents can stand some of them. They are rude, selfish brats (just being real here). Their folks probably threw a party when their spawn finally moved out. I genuinely like our kids, however.
Some people say you can’t be a friend to your children and still be their dad. I get that to an extent, but if you are lucky (as I am) as my boys get older the more I’ve been able to develop a relationship with them that is both dad and friend. The Tall One and I enjoy sports together, share tastes in music, like the same movies and play golf together. I’m simply going to miss him being around all the time….pause while I locate the box of Kleenex…
Studies show that men think about sex every 52 seconds. You can question the accuracy of the results of that experi…no, they pretty much nailed it (no pun intended this time either). The one thing that may rival how often men think about sex is how often we question our ability as a father. As a husband, if you are doing that wrong, you have a wife to set you straight. As a father, if your kids try to set you straight you introduce them to the "board of education".
That brings me to my final point: there is a sense of doubt that is likely unavoidable at a time when your child is moving into another phase of life. Doubt that persistently asks the question: have you done enough as a father to prepare your son for “this”? The answer is “no”. There are a great many things that could have been done different, better, more often, less often, louder, softer, more strict, more lenient, etc., etc., a million times etc. I mean we all can't be Ward Cleaver (I don't smoke a pipe) or Cliff Huxtable (I can't pull off those sweaters).
There are two things of which I am extremely confident, however. One: My kids will never have a doubt that they are loved. Two: However I may have fallen short, there is a God who loves them more than I do who is eternally capable of training them in the ways they should go.
So now I’ll sit in the basement and watch pre-season football without The Tall One and hope his first night at college is all he wants it to be. Does anybody know if Kleenex delivers?
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