Have You Considered Your Glove Compartment Lately?

Compartmentalize.  It’s from the ancient Hebrew meaning “glove compartment”.  As in: “Hail, Jebediah, thou hast left thine shades innest mine donkey's glove compartment”.  When was the last time you took inventory of your car’s glove compartment?  Here’s what I found in mine:

·         Registration and proof of insurance 2012

·         Toothpaste, toothbrush and floss from my last not one, not two, but three dentist visits

·         Garmin

·         Registration and proof of insurance 2011

·         Granola bar

·         A small box of band aids

·         Coupon for $5 off an oil change that expired in August 2011

·         A pocket-size copy of The New Testament (with Psalms and Proverbs)

·         A couple of golf tees

·         Napkins

·         A greeting card I bought for The Wife, but haven’t given to her yet (keep a spare handy)

·         A receipt from McDonald’s for a sweet tea and a biscuit from March 2010

·         A CD case (no CD) for Rush’s album “Presto”.  The album came out in 1989, but the CD case hasn’t been there since then.

Two things to note here and one point of clarification: first, the clarification.  I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my house.  So, don’t think that I don’t use them just because they are also in my glove compartment.  Or, that I just brush my teeth in my car.  That would be weird or something.  How are you supposed to post tweets, drive and brush your teeth at the same time?

Now, the two things to note: One, no gloves, so why is it called…nevermind.  Two, there’s a lot of stuff in there.  Which, finally, brings me to my point: there’s a lot of stuff in there.

One thing that I think is common to most men and a frustration to most wives is our difficulty in “compartmentalizing”.  Now, when I use that term I’m not meaning psychologically walling off an unpleasant part of your life so you don’t have to deal with it (like that one part of 6^th grade when I parted my hair in the middle – hello, Shaun Cassidy).  I mean not letting our various other roles in life intrude upon our role in the family.  I catch myself doing this all the time.  My butt is on the couch at home, but my mind is running through possible solutions to problems at work.  Or a baseball game that may have been over for hours, but I’m re-hashing the things I could have done differently as a coach to help our team play better.  Or over-analyzing my putting stroke in my brain and trying to figure out why I’ve been pushing everything to the right.  All this while I’m at home with The Wife and not a word of any of it comes out my mouth.  I’m not keeping things in their proper “compartment” or maybe I’m just letting a compartment full of stuff spill out in places it doesn’t belong.

Like my glove compartment (or George’s wallet to those looking for a Seinfeld analogy), there’s a lot of stuff in there. Some of it is meaningful.  Some of it is useless.  But, it is all in there taking up space, often keeping me from finding what is important at the moment. 

It’s a difficult pattern to break and after nearly 23 years of work and marriage I have come to a conclusion. There isn’t any benefit to rummaging through the glove compartment of my mind and focusing intently on what amounts to my proof of insurance and wondering if it is current?  Do I have enough coverage?  Should I listen to the President from “24” and buy Allstate?  That mistake at work won’t get undone or that missed putt won’t go in by dwelling on it. 

How does one break this cycle?  Here is my honest and professional opinion: I don’t know….you’re welcome.

I’ve read some articles on this and the authors must all assume I’m a dope-smoking, Birkenstock-wearing, tree-hugging fancy pants (they may have been fooled by the granola bar).  So, I’ve got three things I’m going to try and I’ll let you know how The Wife says it goes.  First, a really good hug and kiss when I walk in the door from work.  We both have to put aside what we’re doing or thinking about and focus on each other.  Plus, I am in favor of hugs and kisses.

Second, I’ll listen to music more often on the way home.  I typically listen to talk radio or sports talk and that is just more junk to think about.  If I listen to music then I can come in singing her a song.  I’m sure she’ll appreciate being serenaded to The Beastie Boys “No Sleep ‘Til Brooklyn”.  The point being, I can share something light-hearted with her each day when I get home.

Third, well, I don’t have a third thing yet, but all lists of helpful advice are supposed to be at least three things long.  So, once again…you’re welcome.  If I come up with a third, I’ll let you know.   Wait a minute, I just found my notes and remembered what the third thing really was: honesty.  More like acknowledgement, really.  If  I can identify that my person is present with The Wife but my mind is elsewhere, then I can simply tell her: Wife, I find myself thinking about work/sports/hobbies/meaning of life/the illogical popularity of Owen Wilson so come over here and kiss me before I sing “Free Bird” to you.

One other thing…talking.  Talking with The Wife about such things would help, too.  That, however, is another blog for another day.

I think this is just crazy enough to work or at least not hurt.  Now, if you’ve seen my 2010 car registration or if you borrowed my Rush CD, please let me know.  I won’t be able to get it out of my head until I find them.