Valentine's Day is this Friday. If your response to that sentence is "Oh *expletive*!" then this blog post may be just what you needed. Here is some advice and some good advice for you to "Keep a HappyWife" on Valentine's Day.
Advice: Don’t buy your wife and girlfriend the same gift.
Good advice: If you have a wife…don’t have a girlfriend.
Advice: Tell your wife she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve
seen today.
Good advice: Adding “and that includes the chicks I’ve been
scoping on FarmersOnly.com” does not make that a better compliment.
Advice: Dinner and movie can be a nice Valentine’s evening.
Good advice: Dinner should not be a McRib. Movie should not star a Schwarzenegger, a Stallone
or a Van Damme.
Advice: Writing your wife a poem is a sweet and sentimental
Valentine’s gesture.
Good advice: The poem should not start with the line “There
once was a man from Nantucket”.
Advice: While not very creative, a heart box of candy
chocolates is a delicious gift.
Good advice: You should not pick out the chocolates filled
with caramel leaving only the ones filled with Texas Pete or silly putty.
Advice: A good line is “You’re pretty as a picture”.
Good advice: Don’t add “I mean almost any picture. Even prettier than those cartoon babes, except for maybe Jessica Rabbit”.
Advice: Tell your wife “I love you”.
Good advice: If she asks you “why?” be prepared with an
answer other than just “you let me see you naked”.
As a reference, here are links to prior Valentine's Day posts:
