Suddenly Newman Thrashes? What?

"Sudden Pneumothorax."



Yes, it's Matt Lauer

A “Sudden Nooner Thor’s Axe”?  That sounds like a weird sex thing they would feature on seedy programs like Maury Povich, Jerry Springer or The Today Show. 

That’s not what I said. I said a “Sudden Pneumothorax”.  You need to clean out your ears  and get your mind out of the gutter while you’re at it.  C’mon, people.

On a random Wednesday evening, our oldest son (aka “The Tall One”) came home from baseball practice with sharp pains in the upper right side of his chest that he started feeling while running bases.  Being the sensitive and compassionate father that I am, I’m thinking: “toughen up, Mary” (OK, I didn’t think the “Mary” part, but I do have to claim the rest of it). 

Not a collapsed lung.

The pain had subsided after dinner, but to test it The Wife sends The Tall One out to run to see if the pain comes back.  He doesn’t get down the driveway before he’s headed back in the house in pain.  I load him in the car and take him to a nearby urgent care facility.  We get right in, the doctor looks at him says he thinks it’s a muscle spasm, but he’ll do an x-ray to be on the safe side.  Ten minutes later he is sending us to the emergency room.  The Tall One has a partially collapsed lung.  Or, in doctor talk: “sudden pneumothorax”.  In normal-people-talk it means: “Surgery and 13 days in the hospital”.  In blogger talk: “That’s why I haven’t posted anything new in a while”.

To jump to the end, The Tall One went through the surgery very well, has been home about a week and is recovering nicely.  This is apparently not an uncommon condition for tall, skinny guys, but before now…who knew? The story within the story, however, is what you learn about your family (and your marriage) in a situation like this.

Thing Learned #1: The Tall One is an outstanding young man.  Without a doubt I am biased, and when I’ve shared this “thing learned” with people they are quick to tell me that he takes after his mother.  I don’t dispute that.  Throughout this trial he maintained a positive attitude, was exceptionally appreciative to his nurses and never sang the blues (he has a collapsed lung…did you expect him to break out in some B.B. King or Muddy Waters?).  Whether I have much to do with his mature outlook or not, it brings me a lot of comfort to know for certain that my 18-year old son is not a boy, but a man.  Which brings another thought…d@*!, I’m getting old.

If you build it...

Thing Learned #2: There is no substitute for good family and friends.  People came to visit The Tall One like he was in a baseball field in an Iowa cornfield rather than in the thoracic ward of the hospital.  People brought food, encouragement and, best of all, company for a bored teenager.  People were willing to put their lives on hold, in some cases, to help us out.  I cannot tell you how humbling that is.

Thing Learned #3: The Wife is an amazing woman and mother.  This is not news to me, nor should it be news to you if you've read this blog at all.  Her devotion, her composure and her patience were evident throughout this trial.  She is doing a tremendous job raising two great sons and one better-than-average husband.  As we talked about how we supported each other as we both supported The Tall One, we concluded, once again, that we make a pretty good team.

Thoughts on Meteorology and the First Signs of Spring (Reprise)

Hi there.  "Reprise" is a fancy word for "rerun".  Not like Rerun on "What's Happening" but like what Saturday Night Live calls an "Encore Presentation".  With today being the first day of Spring I thought I'd re-share (is that a word?) this blog post with you. 

As a preface or appendix or addendum (pick the word you like best) I want to say that despite the poking fun at weather people in this post, they do a tremendous job when real emergencies arise.  Countless lives are saved by the accuracy with which they can pinpoint major storms and tornados.  If only we could get an official ruling on that "partly sunny" vs. "partly cloudy" thing.  Oh, well...enjoy and "Happy Spring"!


The wife knows I'm not a fan of local news. It's all homicide investigations, poorly reported sports and the weather. That's the worst of it - the weather. They call their otherwise unemployable weather people "The Storm Team" as they overuse gadgets with hyperbolic names like "Mega Gargantu-Doppler 3000". If you are using expensive radar technology to zoom into your ex-wife's backyard, then you have problems.

"Loud Noises!"

It's not just the locals (and believe me, it is likely the locals where you live, too. It's the same most places). They've given these people their own cable channel (who do they think they are? Celebrity chefs? Oprah? For a slight tangent on cable shows, click here). The weathermen and weathergirls (or as they like to be called, "meteorologists") give us terms like partly sunny and partly cloudy and they don't know the difference between the two. (There is a reason that this guy played the weatherman in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.)

After a long, dark, cold winter we are ready for signs of hope and renewal – signs of spring. Traditionally, the weather people would be the prophets carrying the message of this welcome change in seasons. They would wear us out with the whole groundhog thing on February 2^nd, but we would be OK with it as it would be the first mention of spring. A couple of weeks later they'd tempt you with a ridiculous 30 day forecast that shows a few days stretching up to the lower 70s. Then, finally they would show us video of an egg standing on end at the equinox and declare spring's arrival. Well, now they've messed that up. They have proclaimed March 1 as "meteorological spring". First, Al Roker got skinny, now this. These people have got to be stopped.

So, we've known for a while now that we can't count on them to get the weather right (the symbol in the forecast for today has a sun peeking out from behind a cloud with rain and a lightning bolt coming from the cloud. Add a snow flake, a tornado and a question mark and I think they'll have all their bases covered. Better yet, just put down the question mark. It's more honest.) Now we can't even rely on them to tell us when spring begins. You can always look to the more traditional signs of spring like the birds chirping, flowers blooming and trees blossoming (or do trees bloom and flowers blossom?). However, as I'm sure you do, too, I have my own signs I look for to tell me that spring is, at long last, here.

The Masters. Not so much the golf tournament itself ("Cinderella boy, tears in his eyes"), but the commercials that air a couple of weeks before it: The serene video of azaleas blooming into blossom and dogwoods blossoming into bloom with the soft tones of The Masters theme song in the background. This is not only a reminder that the wife and I haven't played golf in five months, it also means that spring is ready to embrace us with warmth and sunshine and pollen and Cadbury eggs.

Women wearing shorts. Now, it's not what you may be thinking, so allow me to explain. Guys will wear shorts in any weather. It can be 10-below with a foot of snow on the ground and a guy will go outside in shorts ("I only have to be outside from the car to the store"). A woman wouldn't do that. You rarely see a woman out in shorts if the weather doesn't call for it. So, when you see a woman outside in shorts you can thank the God of Nature…spring is back. Women readers, please skip the next paragraph.

"I love ya honey"

Pssst, hey dude…do you think the women bought that? It sounded pretty good, didn't it? If we get a cold snap in a few days go to the store in shorts so we don't blow our cover. Hey, man – quit singing "Hot Legs". That won't help our cause so get that song out of your head already. Thanks, bro.

Hey! Welcome back, ladies. You didn't miss much. Just a little guy talk…grunting and burping, mostly.

Finally, the most accurate sign of spring around our house is a calendar full of baseball. Both of our boys play for their schools, I help coach one of their teams and the wife and I (mostly the wife) do a lot of volunteer work with the entire high school program. From Saturday March 19^th through April 2^nd we have baseball on the schedule every single day. I don't think God rested on the seventh day. I think He said "let's play two". So, honey, put on your shorts…we are headed to the ball park. But be sure to check the weather before we go.

Vasectomy Madness, Baby!

Snip, snip.

“You want to do what to my what with what?”



That was probably a mild version of the response from the first guy asked to undergo a vasectomy.  That same response has been said (or at least thought) by every guy presented with the option of “The Big V”.  In recent years, a trend has developed in the vasectomy world.  Men are scheduling their “procedures” at the start of the NCAA basketball tournament.  The thinking is: “If I let a stranger take a knife to my fellas, my wife will let me watch four days of hoops?  Where do I sign up?!”

I am not a doctor.  I do not play one on TV.  I do not play one on my blog. So the technical, medical aspects of the vasectomy may be off just a little.  I realize it’s not exactly “a knife to the fellas”, but that is how we see it, ladies.

Some urology clinics actually run specials during the opening week of March Madness and they see their appointments go up by as much as 50%.  Many of these clinics give away t-shirts or cups (the kind you drink from, not the protective ones), free pizza, a bag of frozen peas (to put in your, ummmm, lap) or other promotional trinkets.  I hope there are not any clinics that offer group discounts.  That’s an assembly line process that even Henry Ford would object to.

So, what does this have to do with Keep A Happy Wife?  Well, if you and your wife are done making babies but still want to “practice making babies” without risking making a baby, then a permanent solution is needed. The option for women is a surgical procedure, typically requiring a hospital stay, under general anesthesia.  For guys there are three options:

1. Vasectomy – A few hours in a clinic with local anesthesia.

2. Nosexforme – This is a simple, but potentially distressing option performed (or not performed in this case) by your wife that means you no have sex no more.

3. Bobbitization – This is a simple, but definitely painful option that is also performed at home by your wife with a sharp implement of her choosing.  Typically this will occur in your sleep.  It will require a call to 911, an extended hospital stay and awkward explanations to your buddies if you shower at the gym.  I know a couple of guys who kept putting off their vasectomy and kept getting their wife pregnant who were dangerously close to this being their fate.

It has been a few years since The Wife and I discussed this topic.  (To be sure, it needs to be a “couple’s decision”.  Going rogue and getting the “V” done without your wife being in agreement with it is about as selfish as refusing to have the procedure done in the first place.)  The most important decision for us was to determine that we were done having kids (I should say having “more kids”.  We kept the ones we already had). The question of “To V or not to V” wasn’t really an issue.  It’s the simplest option.

The truth is, however, a vasectomy is nerve-racking for a guy and shouldn’t be just shrugged-off as “no big deal”.    If I could do one thing differently, I would have spent more time finding a doctor.  My doctor, while ultimately “effective” in the procedure, lacked any bed-side manner, whatsoever. 

You're gonna feel a small prick

As the local anesthetic was being administered, the doc, needle in hand, said “you’ll feel a small prick”.  Nervous and trying to make a joke, I said, “You will, too, doc”.  He didn’t get it.

While the procedure itself isn’t painful due to the anesthesia, it is uncomfortable…like a trip to the dentist (though if your dentist starts working “down there”, you don’t have a very good dentist).  Understandably, that discomfort is heightened by the sensitive nature of the procedure itself.  So, when the doctor perceived that I was “uncomfortable” he went to his “Bedside Manner 101” class and dead-panned: “Have you read any books lately or do you have interesting hobbies?”.  I would have mocked him if he didn’t have me in such an extremely compromising position. 

So when you and your wife come to the point in your life that the word “vasectomy” starts creeping into conversations, don’t let “macho” get in the way of making a “manly” decision.  A couple of “snips” can be a way to show her how much you love her.  Just don’t go under the knife so you can watch a few extra days of hoops. You can work out a better deal than that to watch the NCAA tourney.

Happy Leap Day (or is it "Merry Leap Day?)

I didn't start Valentine's Day, dummy

February has really gotten hosed.  It is the shortest month of the year – 10% shorter than some overrated months like August and March (August? Pfft.  Please). What February lacks in quantity, however, it makes up for in quality.  Some of the greatest, most influential presidents in history were born in February:  George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Ronald Reagan.  Other great Americans were born in February, too: Charles Lindbergh, Tina Louise, me, Jennifer Aniston, Tennessee Ernie Ford, me, Bobby Valentine (who started Valentine’s Day) , Cindy Crawford, and did I mention…me!

One thing February boasts (other than being the month I was born) that other months can’t is a flex day.  Other months boringly have the same number of days each and every year.  (Where’s the adventure in that?)  February, however, delivers us a special gift of an extra day – a 29^th day -- once every four years: Leap Day!

There are some unique Leap Day traditions that you may not be aware of:

·          Leap Day is also known as “Privilege Day” because on February 29^th women have the “privilege” of proposing to men.  While doing so, the woman must be wearing a red petticoat.  If the man declines the proposal he must give the woman a silk gown and a kiss.  I think the origins of this are found in the Book of Leviticus or the Book of Assumptions, I don’t remember which.

·         If you wake up on Leap Day and see your shadow, then that means the sun is out.   Not only that, it means that sometime within 24 hours the sun will go down and you won’t see your shadow anymore (it is eerie how accurate this is). However, if you don’t see your shadow on Leap Day morning, then Darth Vader will come down from the planet Vulcan and melt your brain.  (Fingers crossed for that shadow).

·         The TV show 30 Rock had a recent episode where the writers created a series of Leap Day traditions.  On February 29, Leap Day William visits and trades candy for the tears of children.  If you don’t wear traditional blue and yellow on Leap Day, you get your eye poked and your hair pulled.  Expressions used on Leap Day include “Real life is for March” and “Nothing that happens on Leap Day counts”.

In many ways, Leap Day is the most important day of the year (every four years, that is).  Well most important next to Christmas, Easter, my anniversary with The Wife, Super Bowl Sunday, Independence Day, the Wife’s birthday and baseball Opening Day.   It is Leap Day that holds together time as we know it.  A complete revolution around the sun (or what we’ve dubbed “a year”) actually takes 365 days and 6 hours.  Leap Day is the necessary adjustment to keep things on track.  Without this adjustment, we would slowly drift off course and the Earth would spin wildly into the Sun.  Well, maybe not that, but without a Leap Day, we would inch towards a time when Winter is Summer.  Or is it Summer that becomes Winter?  I’m not sure which way.

The thing we can take from Leap Day is not that “nothing that happens on Leap Day counts” but that “everything on Leap Day can count”.  In the spirit of Leap Day, is there a course that needs adjusting in your marriage?  (Or as Led Zeppelin told us in Stairway to Heaven “there’s still time to change the road you’re on”).  A tweak here, a nudge there may be just what you need to keep your brain from being melted and keeping your relationship on the track that you intended.

Leap Day greetings to you and yours!

The 2012 Wifey Awards

Entertainers have not created enough award shows as a method to publicly honor themselves, their work and their plastic surgery.  All they have is the Oscars, Tony’s, Emmy’s, SAG, Grammy’s, People’s Choice, MTV Movie, MTV Video, Independent Spirit, Critics’ Choice, CMT, CMA and ACM (As Kanye knows, there just aren’t enough celebrity awards to go around). A group such as these beloved celebrities that can make us laugh, cry and sing all while naming their children after verbs or inanimate objects deserve as many opportunities for accolades as the viewing public can mind-numbingly consume.

So, last year I was determined to do my part in righting this wrong and I created The Wifey Awards.  This is the Keep A Happy Wife version of the Academy Awards.  The Wife and I enjoy going to the movies (especially on Tuesday which is $5 movie night) but, like most people, we don’t see a lot of the movies that get nominated for Oscars.  So, don’t count on seeing lots of nominations here for The Artist or War Horse. 

Category: Movie I’m Glad I Didn’t See

• Rise of the Planet of the Apes:  Which of you asked for another Planet of the Apes movie?  Moses must be rolling over in his grave with yet another knock off in this movie franchise.
• Justin Bieber Never Say Never:  Well, I can say “never”, as in “I’ve never heard a Justin Bieber song”.  That takes discipline, people.
• Dolphin Tale: Do I have to explain why I didn’t want to see this?   If the dolphin used his bionic tale as a vigilante-style crime fighter, then that would be a movie worth seeing.
• Jack & Jill: Adam Sandler isn’t consistently funny anymore playing a man.  Why would he be funny in a movie where he plays a man and a woman?  Answer: He wouldn’t.
• And the Wifey goes to: Justin Bieber.  This has less to do with how repulsive I find Justin Bieber, but more with keeping my own streak alive.  A player on a streak has to respect the streak , right Crash Davis?

Category: Bad A** of the Year

• Tom Cruise from the 3^rd or 4^th or 5^th (I lost count) Mission Impossible movie.  He beats people up in dramatic fashion while saving the world.
• The Iron Man Guy in the 2^nd Sherlock Holmes movie.  He beats people up in slow motion/stop action to save London.
• Liam Neeson in Unknown.  He beats people up trying to remember who he really is.
• And the Wifey Goes to: Liam Neeson.  Qui Gon Jinn deserves a lifetime achievement award in this category.  He looks like he should be teaching high school chemistry, but he can open up a can on any bad guy on a moment’s notice.

Category: Best Looking Actress:

• Jennifer Aniston: This is the second nomination in a row for Aniston.  She more than held her own alongside a much younger Brooklyn Decker in Just Go With It. 
• Rachel McAdams: Her parts in Sherlock Holmes and Midnight in Paris were too small, but she was good while she was on screen.  Now that I read “her parts” and “were too small” that sounds bad.  I mean her on-screen time seemed brief.  Get your minds out of the gutter, people.
• Olivia Wilde: She was in about ten movies last year, but I only saw one (Cowboys & Aliens).  I liked it.
• And the Wifey goes to: For the second year in a row, the award goes to The Wife.  Not only is she pretty, but she shares popcorn with me.  Jennifer Aniston has never done that.

Category: Best Looking Actor: This is based on commentary from the Wife about the actors in movies we see.  They all just look like dudes to me.  Except Owen Wilson.  He looks like an aardvark with that twisted beak of his.

• Matthew McConaughey: I think The Wife liked him more in other movies than she did in Lincoln Lawyer.
• Ryan Gosling: We saw him in Ides of March and Crazy Stupid Love.  We liked both of the movies.  The Wife says “he’s pretty”.  She says it a lot.
• Thor: I can’t remember what his real name is.  I don’t know that The Wife does either, but she says “he’s really pretty”. 
• And the Wifey goes to: After much angst, The Wife has selected Thor for the Best Looking Actor award.  She adds: “I call them ‘eye candy’”. 

Category: Best Alien Movie

• Transformers: Were there real actors in this movie?  I think the whole thing was computer graphics.  I may have to disqualify this nomination.
• Cowboys & Aliens: A cheesy movie title, but it was surprisingly good.  007 losing his British accent to play a cowboy is some great acting.
• Super 8: An interesting take on the alien movie by J.J. Abrams (“Lost”).   It reminded me of the classic Stand By Me and about a dozen space alien movies.
• And the Wifey goes to: Super 8.  Coach Eric Taylor fighting space aliens is tough to beat.

Category: Best Movie:

• Ides of March: George Clooney and Gosling led a strong cast that shocked the world by telling us that politics is a corrupt business.
• Moneyball: This movie starring Brad Pitt and a still plump Jonah Hill was a favorite of baseball geeks everywhere.
• The Adjustment Bureau: Matt Damon and Emily Blunt fight the forces of fate and destiny to hold on to true love.
• Crazy Stupid Love: I was surprised by how much I liked this movie.  Steve Carell, Gosling, Julianne Moore and the entire cast were very good in this comedy that shows how relationships can go full circle before you even know it.
• And the Wifey goes to: Well, Ides of March was too dark, so it’s out.  Moneyball ignored the pitching staff of that A’s team, so I have to toss it on the basis of the integrity of baseball history.  I’ll write about Crazy Stupid Love in another blog post soon (so we’ll call that award enough for that movie).  So, the Best Movie Wifey goes to The Adjustment Bureau.  Congratulations.  Wait….how did I give an award to a movie with an actor that was in We Bought a Zoo.  I’d go back and change it, but thinking about it makes my head hurt, so we’ll just pretend the Zoo movie never happened.

Please note that none of these movies are in 3-D or have a Justin Bieber song in its soundtrack!  I am proud of both of these facts. We haven’t seen anything so far in 2012 that will qualify for Best Movie nominee next year, but I’ll keep you posted on any good movies The Wife and I see on date night throughout the year.

Kicking Butt on Valentine's Day (A Case Study)

Imagine going to the Mercedes dealer and buying a new car for your wife.  Only when the car is delivered it’s just a box of unassembled parts.  It has instructions, but they are written in something that looks like Klingon….and the pictures on the instructions look kinda like the model of the Space Shuttle you built in 5th grade.  You don’t know what to do.  You don’t even know where to start.  However, you think that a shot of whisky would probably make it a little bit better.  Oh, yeah, all the while the love of your life is standing close by looking very disappointed.  (You definitely need some booze.)

That is how many men feel about February 14.  They want to “Keep a Happy Wife” on Valentine's Day, but aren’t sure how to do it.  Some men think throwing money at the problem will make it go away.  In an episode of The Office, Michael Scott said: “Presents are the best way to show someone you care.  It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, “Hey, I love you this many dollars worth”.  If you think that way you are an idiot.  If your wife thinks that way, then I am very, very sorry for you.  That attitude tends to make Valentine's Day really hard ("that's what she said").

If you or your wife think that breaking the bank is the best way to say “I love you (this many dollars worth)” then I say it is time to re-align that perspective and change some expectations.  A truly thoughtful gift will outweigh an expensive one every time.  (Side note: When you read “thoughtful” do not confuse that with a greeting card from the gas station you found at 6:00 on February 14).  What Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about is a celebration and declaration of how much you love your wife.  Not a celebration of how high your credit limit used to be on your American Express.

I’ll share with you a practical idea that I used this year.  It took a little time and a little planning, but it captured the meaning of Valentine’s Day.

This morning when The Wife got up, she found a scrolled note on the kitchen counter in front of a vase of red tulips.  The scroll was held together by a thumb tack.  You can see the note here.

The Wife’s van was filled with red and pink balloons (probably about 35).  Inside each balloon was a very small note.  The note was from me or one of our sons stating a reason why we loved her.  In one of the balloons were tickets for a movie on Valentine’s night.  Also, hanging from her rear view mirror was a pink striped scarf.  All in: balloons and balloon pump (recommended) from the party supply store, movie tickets and scarf from Target…about $40.  This was a meaningful, memorable and affordable Valentine’s Day.

So The Wife has spent the morning popping balloons are reading about how much her family (especially her husband) loves her.  Her comment to me: “You sure know how to show me I am loved”. 

Valentine’s Day just got it’s a$$ kicked, people!

If you have any fun Valentine's ideas, leave a comment!  I'd love to hear it. 

Happy Valentine's to you and yours.

Valentine's Special: Let Me Be Your Rufus (reprised)

In honor of the One Year Anniversary of "Keep A Happy Wife" and in celebration of the fast-approaching Valentine's Day, here is an Encore Presentation (that's fancy for "re-run") of 2011's Valentine's Day post.  Enjoy and thank you for your support.

Valentine's Day can be almost as perilous a holiday for a man as Thanksgiving is for a turkey. If you aren't careful, you just might lose your giblets.

What I mean by that is that the expectations placed upon a man to get Valentine's Day "right" are much greater than those on a woman. A man is expected to buy his wife chocolate or jewelry or flowers or all of the above.

The wife? All she has to do is show up.

Hopefully naked.

Preferably awake.

A perfect example of this inequity can be found by looking at Valentine's Day gift suggestions for men at gifts.com. Here are a few of the gems on the list:

• A tie (please, ladies...no ties).
• Annual subscription to the Pickle of the Month Club (are there even twelve different kinds of pickles?).
• The World's Largest Gummy Worm (and that is NOT a euphemism for an enhancement product).

So guys, all these expectations may have you feeling pressure leading up to Valentine's Day. Just like Ted "Theodore" Logan and Bill S. Preston, Esquire felt the pressure to pass their history final. Fail the final and Ted goes to military school and there is no Wyld Stallyns music to bring the universe into harmony. (By the way, two blog posts and two Keanu references. To quote Mr. Reeves, "whoooooa"). Your problem is you have no dude named Rufus traveling through time in a phone booth to guide you. Well, let me be your "Rufus" (sans phone booth).

Tip #1 - Too Late for Love: If you are doing your Valentine's

shopping at 6PM on February 14 at the Circle K, there will be more than "strange things afoot". There will be a foot in a high heel implanted in your backside. Don't be in the scrum of losers at the Kroger floral department fighting over the last wilted arrangement of tulips. Plan ahead…at least a little.

Tip #2 - Avoid the Self-Inflicted Wounds: If the only day a year you give your wife flowers is Valentine's Day, you are looking at $80. Let me do that currency conversion for you. Ten six-packs. Almost two full tanks of gas. Lunch for two weeks. Buying a big bouquet on Valentine's Day is for suckers and if you want to avoid that kind of punch to the coin purse then you need to bring your wife flowers more often than once a year. It may be too late for this strategery this year, but now you can plan ahead for next year. Sam's and Costco have a nice selection and proflowers.com has good deals at least 364 days a year. (Does anybody know how I can get a commission or product placement endorsement here?)

Tip #3 – Don't Forget to Wind Your Watch.

Tip #4 – Put the Greeting Card Back in the Rack and Slowly Walk Away: I hate buying greeting cards. You pay $5 for something a stranger wrote (and doesn't even have enough pride in their work to add a by-line to it). You give the card to your wife and it becomes obsolete as fast as the latest product from Apple (I don't guess the I-phone 8G will be in my mailbox anytime soon). You don't have to be Bill Shakespeare to compose your own love letters. A few simple hand-written notes for your wife hidden where she'll find them throughout the day is a can't miss hit she'll be sure to remember on Valentine's Day.

Tip #5 – To Lingerie or Not to Lingerie?: The "one and done" lingerie gift may not be your best option. First, you endure the awkwardness of shopping in Victoria's Secret (a topic for future blog to be sure). After five minutes on, it's tossed to the floor and then later crammed in the back of a drawer never to be seen again. If you do choose the lingerie route, stay classy San Diego. The wife probably won't appreciate something that would have been deemed inappropriate for a chick in a Duran Duran video.



Happy Valentine's Day to you and your "historic babe". Party on, dudes.